BB and I had our first argument. This was brave of him: I tend to call a spade a tosser, before wielding it above my head. Yet on this occasion, despite knowing I was right and that he was being beyond unreasonable, I heard myself apologising, saying “I wouldn’t do it again.” WHAT?! I mentally shook my tongue and demanded it reel itself in at once. Was I becoming more like the rest of womankind? Resigned to becoming a dismissive crusader of peace, just because it’s easier and because the offender is talking over Strictly? Well, this wouldn’t do at all.

But, I considered, if this new relationship/phase of life is destined to bring out the forbearing, low-maintenance side of my character, fine, that’s not so bad; I’d just up stakes in other departments. Life is about balance after all. So I will be the serene, calming girlfriend that breathes peace wherever she goes, but I will need some new clothes and a mini break for the trouble.

BB himself seemed mollified by my approach, a sentiment that quickly turned to gratitude - my plan was working. “Let me whisk you away,” he said. Perfect. Although, leave London? When London - wonderfully ironically - blossoms in Autumn? I wanted to stay in town, see the golden hues and embrace being able to wear cashmere again. So - still consciously patrolling my passages of speech to ensure I wasn’t going soft - I said: “I would like to holiday in London,” and awaited my invitation.

It arrived. And it was worth sacrificing the argument for. He took me to The Stafford Hotel (so I could be close to the sights and shops), and treated me to drinks in The American Bar, dinner in The Lyttleton and a night of 'making-up' in a junior suite.

Situated off St James’s, the walk to the entrance of The Stafford is across its idyllic courtyard; a space you would not imagine you’d find on Mayfair’s doorstep. Still feeling every bit (though thankfully without the horse muck) like the stable yard it once was, I instantly felt out of town.

Our room overlooked this courtyard area. On the sunny evening we were there, drinkers were sitting on the outside tables soaking up all the rays that they could. We quickly joined them.

The American Bar is an institution. For an after-work drink – especially on a chilly evening - nowhere beckons like it. The service is immaculate in the refined, old-school way and the décor is intriguing (thousands – literally - of items of customer memorabilia from around the globe adorn the walls and ceiling - it really is a sight to behold) but it’s the club-like atmosphere that makes it irresistible. And stepping into it from the courtyard outside makes you wonder if you should know a special knock. (I deserve praise for resisting spreading the rumour that you do.)

After some delicious Hendricks gins with refreshing cucumber, we made our way into the restaurant, the Lyttleton, where the vibe is somewhat different.

The Lyttleton has recently been impressively spruced up. The hotel claims it has been “designed to evoke the feeling of dining in a friend’s home.” This is of course true, assuming, that is, that you are friends with the queen. For, with an ivory and gray colour palette and a rather eye-grabbing chandelier, a finger painting of a stick family stuck to the wall would be more than a touch out of place. Nor does one feel at liberty to pour one’s own wine. But, for those who like dinner to be an ‘occasion’, something to dress for, to notice, to appreciate, and a time to indulge in quality British food and a fantastic bottle of wine from an eye-popping list (at the recommendation of the Master Sommelier), this is the place. It is not flash or ‘shouty’ grand, just quietly and innately so, just somewhere that lovers of old school, British grandeur can enjoy.

As for our room afterwards, no one wants for more: a bath with room for a pony, a bed that (God-willing) could fit several men in at once, a plasma at every turn, a dressing room, and Champagne on ice. Oh, and an entirely forgiven BB, who, sadly for you lot, does not come as standard.

THE ESSENTIALS

The American Bar is open daily and serves a light lunch, snacks and suppers. It is perfect for quirky dates or informal business meetings and client lunches or drinks. The Lyttleton is a formal, quiet restaurant serving hearty British food and is home to a very impressive wine list. The Stafford offers a luxury level of rooms, suites and service, suited to Londoners wanting to enjoy their city, or out of towners looking to be perfectly placed in central London. The private hire facilities are also extensive, especially the Old Wine Cellars, which are well suited to atmospheric dinners and wine tasting events. A beautifully understated gem.