...For a Catch-up Coffee
“Look no further: there is no need to order a skinny lotta-yukka-crappa with an extra shot of mud any more.”
So you've decided you want a coffee, as in you actually want to meet for coffee, not to just have a meeting, not to sip herbal tea, not to get laid. You just want a coffee. But equally, you don't want to stand at a counter feeling either like a child failing to read off the board as you stammer through a complex list of foreign, hybrid words or - worse - be made to feel every bit like the over-charged, caffeine freak that you are by reciting your order in a fluid stack of fourteen components. And you certainly don't want to be left with a cup of ditch-water at the end of it.
Well fear not; here is my pick of fabulous places where you can simply enjoy spectacular, quality coffee - and quite frankly, everywhere else can go f'coffee.
For one of the best cups of coffee in London, head to Monmouth in Covent Garden - it will be hard to go back to what you were drinking before. Coffee Plant in Notting Hill also sells a wonderful cup, though the cafe is certainly 'no-frills' so order a deliciously smooth flat white and enjoy as you stroll through Portobello Market.
With the focus staying firmly on coffee, Fernandez and Wells serves a delicious array alongside many yummy sweet treats and also offers one of my favourite indulgences - afogato (espresso poured over vanilla ice cream). Ginger and White is a cute little coffee shop in Hampstead where they keep things simple but spectacular; a great place for a warming cappuccino and slice of homemade cake.
For a more substantial accompaniment to your morning caffeine indulgence, head to Caravan in the East where they serve a hugely popular breakfast menu, Providores on Marylebone High Street, which is always teeming with well-heeled locals, Lantana in Fitzrovia or the buzzing Breakfast Club in Angel (also with sites in Hoxton and Soho).
If you are looking for something more sophisticated and refined, Albion in Shoreditch is where those that manage to fuse yummi-mumminess with urban cool head, and Aubaine in Kensington is where you can enjoy sweet delicacies alongside your skinny latte. So good riddance lotta-yukka-crappa; we're full of beans.
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27 Monmouth Street, London WC2H 9EU

Fernandez and Wells
"For morning croissants or quality coffee and cake throughout the day, look no further."
73 Beak Street, London W1F 95R

Ginger and White
"Cute, quaint, quality. A fabulously independent bijou coffee shop serving heavenly coffee and delicious cakes."
4a-5a Perrins Court, London NW3 1QS

- Deals offered
Caravan
"For easy-going rustic charm and friendly service, look no further than Caravan."
11-13 Exmouth Market, London EC1R 4QD

Lantana Café
"Aussies do know a thing or two about good coffee and a hearty, healthy breakfast."
13 Charlotte Place, London W1T 1SN

The Providores and Tapa Room
"Wonderfully located on chic Marylebone High Street, The Providores and Tapa Room serves what many believe to be the best coffee..."
109 Marylebone High Street, London W1U 4RX

The Breakfast Club
"With three fantastic sites serving amazing breakfasts, they're on a (bacon) roll."
31 Camden Passage, London N1 8EA

Coffee Plant
"Coffee Plant serves truly delicious coffee. The cafe is basic though, so takeaway and enjoy amongst the buzz of Portobello Market."
180 Portobello Road, London W11 2EB